Saturday, August 01, 2009

Flatulence + Fever + Flu + Bronchitis + Sore Throat = Nasty Person.

It is not often I get into this state where my stomach hurts, my body aches, my head is swirling and I'm constantly wheezing with my nose wet. But when this happens, I usually end up in trouble and nothing good ever comes out.


I can recall back in my Primary school days when I had the same symptoms I have now. I was in class when I started farting and my classmates started giggling. (esp. the girls) I had a high pitch fart and I felt slight relief and so I smiled a little and the teacher decided that I was interrputing her class.

"Robin. Stand up." The teacher said.

I stood up, wiping the grin off my face.

"What is so funny?" The teacher asked.

[Faaaarrrrrrrrt] I let off a long ripper and everybody in class started laughing.

"Nothing ma'am." I said.

"Are you mocking me?" The teacher asked.

"I think I just farted, and I don't think my fart was the mocking kind." [farrrrttt]

"Stop it this instant!" The teacher said. "Come out here and stnd here. This is very rude. You are not allowed to fart in class."

"I sure wished I could control it ma'am." I said. [FAAAAARRRRRRRTTTTTTTT]

"Stop it." the teacher said, "You're getting detention."

I put up my hand and said. "I don't think I really have a choice ma'am, I cannot control what come out of my ass... The last one felt a little... wet. Can I be excused now?"

The class roared in laughter, and I got detention later.


In my secondary school, when I had the similar symptoms, I was in physics class and I did not feel well. From time to time, I tilted my chair backwards and 'bounced' off the desk of the person behind me as I was trying the best way to feel comfortable. The student behind me decided to move his desk and I fell and created a large commotion.

"Robin, why are you interrupting the class?" The teacher asked.

"I fell as I lost my balance and the angle at which my chair leaned back exceeded what I needed to maintain balance. Gravity can be a bitch." I said.

"That sort of language is not tolerated here, you are very rude, people are trying to learn here, and this type of behaviour is just unacceptable." The teacher said. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I learnt that when I exceeded the point of stability, the center of gravity is on the other side of the support and I fell..." I said.

"Stop it, you are being very rude, why do you have to answer back?" The teacher said.

"I was just replying to your question, sir." I said.

"You're doing it again." The teacher said. "Do you know that you are being very rude?"

"Is this a rhetorical question?" I asked.

The exchange went on for some where the teacher ended his sentence with a question and somehow I replied everytime angering him even more. I got more detention after.


In Junior College, I encountered the same feeling again. I was feeling restless due to lack of sleep and I was twirling my pen in class. When my pen flew off and dropped beside the girl sitting beside me, whe picked it up and returned it to me.

"Robin, why are you talking in class again?" The teacher asked.

"I was not talking ma'am, I was just trying to retreive my pen." I said. "And when you said again, do you mean that I was talking before?"

"Stop answering back. You behaviour is not acceptable in this class." The teacher said. "You are very disruptive. Don't think that just because you have good grades, it allows you to be rude in class."

"I was not being rude in class." I said. "Grades has got nothing to do with this, I lost my focus and my pen dropped. I was just trying to pick it up."

"Stop answering back!" The teacher said.

"I was just trying to clarify a misunderstanding here." I said. "I did not talk before, and I am not feeling well, and I was not trying to be rude. I am trying to resolve this conflict that we seem to be having and this has nothing to do with grades."

"You're doing it again?" The teacher said.

"Doing what?" I asked. "Trying to resolve our issues through verbal means?"

Same thing happened, I got more detention...

I feel that whenever I have this feeling, I tend to get into trouble and I get very emotional and verbal. There are many more incidents which got me into trouble and fights, but I'm not going to get into it now.

I think there is a chemical imbalance which alters my emotions whenever I get into this state.

For now, as I know I am in the same situation, I now have decided to go to bed, not coming out until the pain is over.

--Iron Bowl

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