Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Cow based Economics Lesson

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

AN SINGAPORE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You get license from AVA, URA, NPARKS, HDB, EDB to keep cows.
You need to pay COE for each cow.
When you sell milk, cows need to pay CPF.
When you start making money, Government will start companies to compete in your cow business.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanksgiving.

In the US, I am thankful...


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH HERE!

-- Iron Bowl

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Like that also Fine


WTF, this is pretty ok ma.

Like that also fine?


Funny? The LTA not amused by pedestrian crossing prank

Another reason why Singapore is FINE CITY.

--Iron bowl

Friday, November 18, 2011

Woman fine $30 for eating sweet on MRT to relieve motion sickness #SingaporeFAIL

The sign says, no food and drinks.

Sucking on a candy gets you a $30 fine on Singapore SMRT?

I think a MASS PUKING on SMRT everyday will teach them a lesson.



Time and resources should be used on improving after security breaches, delayed train, crowd congestion.

This is indeed suck a freaking joke.

Is this the sad state of Singapore media too? To cover shit like that?

-- Iron Bowl

Monday, November 14, 2011

Occupy

Is Occupy Serious?

Scenes from Occupy Wall Street.






I don't believe some of these people are very serious.

Many are committed and endured the harsh weather, but some of these antics are just jokes?

-- Iron Bowl.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

They are here too!


I was at the Fenway catching a free movie -- Immortals. I arrived about 1.5 hours before the movie and there was already a long queue. Right in front of me was a Chinese girl, possibly a student in Boston. As time go by, she took off her jacket and she smelled like a HOBO! WTF, she was covered with branded clothes, and apparently China has not discovered the power of washing detergent?

Nevermind that, she invited every person from China into the line in front of everyone else. She practically got more than 10 people into the queue by herself, and she started speaking Shanghai-ese and Mandarin and thought I did not understand as I was chatting with another pretty Vietnamese lady in the queue in non-heavy-chinese-accented English.

The Chinese group was fresh off the boat, their English was horrible and they kept complaining about how the Fenway Cinema was inferior to their movie theaters in (國內 - domestic) China. They later commented about how poor people should not be allowed in the cinema. I was kinda angry then as they smelled more than another unshaven black guy in the queue.

They were sitting in the theater a row in front of me and proceeded to use their phones before the movie. They continued to reserve more seats and finally had to give up the reserve seats as the theater was FULL. They then proceeded to comment on how the seats were uncomfortable and how China was more advanced and economically powerful compared to the US.

During the movie, a few of their phones went off and they actually were chatting on the phone and was "shhhhh!" by a lot of people. This made me feel ashamed to be classified under "Chinese" on my birth certificate. The first China lady I met was on the phone a total of 7 times in the movie and she did not turn off her ringer despite getting "shhhhh!" LADY, DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME?

I now understand why Chinese families do not want to have daughters.

If my daughter were to be like that, I'd have her aborted too.

-- Iron Bowl.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Singtel #SGFAIL


Singtel hit with service outage, bad customer service officers, stupid rules...

Recently, I terminated my 3G plan along with my phone line before leaving Singapore, however, I received 2 bills and apparently, and after paying the bills, the line seemed to be still "alive"

I was upset with M1 for being very stupid and bureaucratic, and Starhub for being inflexible and now Singtel as well??

I guess you can't have high hopes as all the companies seemed to be owned by Temasek holdings, and they are in the end, operating in a monopolized market.

In Singapore, you can be screwed in all conceivable ways, even Internet!

-- Iron Bowl